The Water Boarder won't take no for an answer. The foulest of all water fowey, totally obsessed with the sea air and telling everyone he surfs with what he thinks are subtleties in his life. Things like his WF Camper Van which he's covered in stickers to destroy the original paintwork, even when he nips to the shop he waxes his tufts of hair.
No one asks him what he's upto or how he's feeling because he always says he's either going surfing or that he feels like shit, he just needs to ride the wave. Fir years people thought he was depressed, so he wanted to make it clear that the wave was literal and not figurative. To achieve this he "accidentally" sent everyone in his email address book a video of him teaching a younger surfer how to use a board. Upon receiving the video women enjoyed seeing a fatherly figure with a six pack father a child, but quickly lost interest when the video continued for 20 minutes. The last 17 and half minutes were him explaining to the child that he should call him "dad" with the video ending with the sentence "remember to call me dad and ill tell your dad you did a trick" as he grabbed the camera.
No one ever saw the video The Water Boarder intended to film.
He's made from a duckling and a mouse. Riding a surf board made from a slice of Agate and a sea of dyed geodes. Both of which are available on here!