Diane swung by for her Pawtrait, she wanted me to make it more like a caricature, which is always fun. She said she'd like to look quite intimidating as she'd been recently told by an ex that she was a gaslighter and had sociopathic tendencies. She explained to me that I shouldn't look at it like that though and should understand that her ex was actually a liar. I told her she can feel free to vent, but that I don't really care about what she's talking about. She told me I'm just like the plasterer she had round her house last week, and started ranting about a run in she had with other self employed people. She claimed that its part of our job to keep the customer happy as she is our boss, she then said if I still want to recieve my payment I should call her "Boss Lady". Again, I allowed the weird behaviour as it seemed like she was working through some stuff in her head. Well, there's this silence that could only have been about 45 seconds, not even a minute - it was like an oasis, the eye of the storm. Then she started stamping on the ground, taking photos of me, shouting at me. Then she started to take photographs to make it look as if my hands were trying to touch her, you must have been able to see her elbows in each of the shots, but I'm not sure as she wouldn't show me the photos. Either way, I don’t have small birds tattooed on my hands so they're not my hands in those photographs. After this I instructed her to leave, in fact I got quite stern with her. She said no one had ever spoken to her like that before and slipped her “Get Your Rat Out” branded knickers down to her ankles. She kicked them off her feet to the edge of the room and left, she later sent me a message on Instagram telling me to tell her when to come collect her knickers. I didn't respond.
Diane never paid for her Pawtrait, so I'm offering it to you.
Each Pawtrait is made from various pieces of skin and come equipped with a magnet so you can pop it on your fridge destroy your computer monitor, the choice is yours!